Dear Old Mister Marck,
My name is Kellie. I am very curious about the brood xix cicadas. They came, made noise and splattered on my car. My car is a '99 Honda Accord. Sweet sound system. Its color is blue, which is my favorite color because Mother almost named me Blue. But I came out a girl and not a boy. It that not so hilarious!!?? Oops, I almost forgot. What is going on with brood xix?
Kellie
P.S. I am a middle school teacher in Lower South Kentucky which is not the same as Upper North Kentucky. Me and Daddy -- he's the principal -- anxiously await your reply.
.......hon ... i truly do appreciate.... you axin me .... about them ceecaders... but i do not think ..... any thing i may or may not tell you...... is worth the effort...... hope this helps....
Friday, 10 June 2011
Saturday, 14 May 2011
Animal Control Problems
Hello Mr.Marck,
I have a pest problem at work.No it’s not the 2 legged kind of pest but the 4 legged kind. I hear tell that you are an expert on squirrels. Here is my problem.We recently discovered that we have a squirrel living under the refrigerator in our warehouse. So as not to cause any harm,we have taken him outside 3 times, but the little critter just keeps coming back in. All he does all day is scamper across the warehouse floor looking for morcels of left over food that the sloppy sales people drop on the floor. Would it be considered inhumane to drop kick him across the parking lot, or should we just let him live in our warehouse and make a good pet out of him? We have thought about trapping him in a sales office with a certain salesperson and cut the lights off and see what happens. What are your thoughts?
Signed,
Jethro from Gobblers Knob
gobblers knob..... i was in proximity of that place ... just a couple months ago....... in search of a pint of ...human ethanol as it were.... now anybody what gots a job.... they gonna have pest problemos..... .and you got that right... I am bona fide squirrel expert well-knowledged...... i truly do not know how any human bein..... with any amount of decency.... would go field goal on one of earths tiniest critters....( even tho they just be Bushytailedtreeclimbinnuteatinwastesoffur) ............. i would suggest..... that you dropkick them poodlewalkin.... ... patent leather size 15 shoe lickin... food droppin.... "sales"people across the parkin lot.... tell em to go home and ...... and smack their mammies........ and that lights out lock-up thing......now that would depend on the "sales"person....... probably one or two of them there... that would kinda like the attention..... hope this helps...
I have a pest problem at work.No it’s not the 2 legged kind of pest but the 4 legged kind. I hear tell that you are an expert on squirrels. Here is my problem.We recently discovered that we have a squirrel living under the refrigerator in our warehouse. So as not to cause any harm,we have taken him outside 3 times, but the little critter just keeps coming back in. All he does all day is scamper across the warehouse floor looking for morcels of left over food that the sloppy sales people drop on the floor. Would it be considered inhumane to drop kick him across the parking lot, or should we just let him live in our warehouse and make a good pet out of him? We have thought about trapping him in a sales office with a certain salesperson and cut the lights off and see what happens. What are your thoughts?
Signed,
Jethro from Gobblers Knob
gobblers knob..... i was in proximity of that place ... just a couple months ago....... in search of a pint of ...human ethanol as it were.... now anybody what gots a job.... they gonna have pest problemos..... .and you got that right... I am bona fide squirrel expert well-knowledged...... i truly do not know how any human bein..... with any amount of decency.... would go field goal on one of earths tiniest critters....( even tho they just be Bushytailedtreeclimbinnuteatinwastesoffur) ............. i would suggest..... that you dropkick them poodlewalkin.... ... patent leather size 15 shoe lickin... food droppin.... "sales"people across the parkin lot.... tell em to go home and ...... and smack their mammies........ and that lights out lock-up thing......now that would depend on the "sales"person....... probably one or two of them there... that would kinda like the attention..... hope this helps...
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Job-Hunting Strategies
Dear Old Mister Mark,
I am in my mid-fifties and through no fault of my own have lost my job. I have had plenty of job interviews but for some reason no offers. I feel like my honesty in the interview process is hurting my opportunity for new employment. My question to you, Mister Marck, is: should I be dishonest about jail time and substance abuse when questioned because it always seems to cut interview short, Please advise, as I need a job.
Mack from Tunica, Mississippi
damnit mack.... i truly do feel your pain... i hold absolute honesty in the highest of regards..... such philosophy has cost myself many a job...... as i see you be from tunica... i would almost think that that bunch of folks ....would understand a man coolin his jets for awhile incarcerated......... as far as substance abuse..... aint no such thing...... hunt my ass down if you ever get up this way ....... i do believe you could help me help you.... hope this helps .........
I am in my mid-fifties and through no fault of my own have lost my job. I have had plenty of job interviews but for some reason no offers. I feel like my honesty in the interview process is hurting my opportunity for new employment. My question to you, Mister Marck, is: should I be dishonest about jail time and substance abuse when questioned because it always seems to cut interview short, Please advise, as I need a job.
Mack from Tunica, Mississippi
damnit mack.... i truly do feel your pain... i hold absolute honesty in the highest of regards..... such philosophy has cost myself many a job...... as i see you be from tunica... i would almost think that that bunch of folks ....would understand a man coolin his jets for awhile incarcerated......... as far as substance abuse..... aint no such thing...... hunt my ass down if you ever get up this way ....... i do believe you could help me help you.... hope this helps .........
Friday, 6 May 2011
Night Moves
I retired early. I had a precise lifeplan. One night in cancun has unfortunately altered things quite dramatically. Your take on this, please.
Henri Fancerow
Cherry Valley, Virginia
ohh yeahhh.......a night in ...cancun.......i had a night .....in amarillo texas once.... didnt last too long....... but....i reckon my take would be........ you pretty much screwed up ......in a gigantesco fashion..... dont know what age you might be .........but ........learn to accept your misery .....you damn sure earned it........ not that there is nothin wrong with that .......hope this helps...
Henri Fancerow
Cherry Valley, Virginia
ohh yeahhh.......a night in ...cancun.......i had a night .....in amarillo texas once.... didnt last too long....... but....i reckon my take would be........ you pretty much screwed up ......in a gigantesco fashion..... dont know what age you might be .........but ........learn to accept your misery .....you damn sure earned it........ not that there is nothin wrong with that .......hope this helps...
Driving Tips
I am a stay-at-home home schooling mom of six children. My 19 year old daughter would like to learn the complexities of operating a motor vehicle. I am positive a person of your experiences will be a deep source of instruction. We will peace out until you respond.
Gracie Bumgaurtner
Beverly Hills 90212
gracie...gracie..gracie......given your alledged situation.....i think it is way toodamn late to stick any of your offspring behind the wheel ......of anything ....what gots tires on it.... .those things can make you move forward...... but....that bein said... try to ingrain into that 212 brain of hers...... NO.. FEMALE.. LEFTS.. that bein... a left turn ..to be executed.. at any juncture....is to be at a true 90 degree angle..........not a fkn 39.5 angle....with a fkn cellphone stuck in her ear..... and knockin some old bastards..bumper and drivers side headlight into the intersection .... NO.. .FKN... FEMALE... LEFTS .....hope this helps....
Gracie Bumgaurtner
Beverly Hills 90212
gracie...gracie..gracie......given your alledged situation.....i think it is way toodamn late to stick any of your offspring behind the wheel ......of anything ....what gots tires on it.... .those things can make you move forward...... but....that bein said... try to ingrain into that 212 brain of hers...... NO.. FEMALE.. LEFTS.. that bein... a left turn ..to be executed.. at any juncture....is to be at a true 90 degree angle..........not a fkn 39.5 angle....with a fkn cellphone stuck in her ear..... and knockin some old bastards..bumper and drivers side headlight into the intersection .... NO.. .FKN... FEMALE... LEFTS .....hope this helps....
Friday, 29 April 2011
Office Etiquitte
Dear Old Mister Marck,
I am currently in a business meeting with around 70 people. I do not work directly with any of them so you can imagine the discomfort. How would you manage this uncomfortable situation?
JMF in Nashville
70 people in a meetin.....you sure you not at a vanderbilt football game.....i would fight discomfort with malcomfort .....fartin loudly aromatically and constantly.....or raise your arm and sniff your armpit...more than twice...pissin on the plastic tree in the corner of the room..... by followin these suggests i highly doubt you will you will find yourself in such a situation in the future ... hope this helps
I am currently in a business meeting with around 70 people. I do not work directly with any of them so you can imagine the discomfort. How would you manage this uncomfortable situation?
JMF in Nashville
70 people in a meetin.....you sure you not at a vanderbilt football game.....i would fight discomfort with malcomfort .....fartin loudly aromatically and constantly.....or raise your arm and sniff your armpit...more than twice...pissin on the plastic tree in the corner of the room..... by followin these suggests i highly doubt you will you will find yourself in such a situation in the future ... hope this helps
Thursday, 28 April 2011
The Anonymous Hacker: Live Coverage
the waters rose up.......the big trees blew down......hear tell of people.. ... and they got drowned.......like floatin timbers... in a river that aint.....i thot these times. owned...... a patron saint......... step yourself ...... on to the outside.....you find you got...... nothin to hide......nowhere you can go ..,that the wind dont blow.. ........nothin the wind dont know ....... ... the smell of the pyre.......the moon climbin higher......and the constant rain ..... it falls again.........if this aint life..... then there aint no livin........
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